If you suspect anaphylaxis, use an adrenaline auto-injector if available and call 999. Lie down; if breathing is difficult, raise the shoulders or sit up slowly. Do not stand or walk. Follow the injector instructions and NHS emergency guidance.
Food, drink and kissing can raise practical questions for someone with a food allergy. This guide summarises an NHS patient leaflet on allergies, dating and relationships from Evelina London, two pages from the charity Anaphylaxis UK (“Eating Out with Allergies” and its 2025 Valentine’s Day tips) and the NHS page on anaphylaxis. It applies across the UK. It is general information, not medical advice: an allergy team can tailor advice to specific allergens. The leaflet appears to be written for young people; individual advice should come from the person’s allergy team. See also this site’s guide to alcohol and first dates.
Telling a match about the allergy
The Evelina leaflet advises telling a date about an allergy while still getting to know each other, and says it can help to do so before the first date. It suggests opening the subject with a question such as “Tell me something about you that not many people know”, or starting a conversation about food, which can be done by text. It says a partner may want to know more straight away or prefer to research first, that the first conversation should be clear and simple because too much detail may overwhelm, and that wrong ideas about allergies can be gently corrected.
Anaphylaxis UK adds that it matters to tell a partner about carried adrenaline auto-injectors and, if possible, to show them how to use one in an emergency.
Choosing and handling the venue
The leaflet suggests considering a first date that is not in a restaurant, such as bowling or a walk, and choosing a restaurant that will accommodate the allergy if one is used.
For eating out, Anaphylaxis UK advises:
- calling the restaurant beforehand to ask if they can accommodate the allergy and about safe dishes;
- on arrival, speaking to the person spoken to earlier, or the chef, and asking about ingredients, preparation and cross-contamination, speaking clearly and calmly;
- checking the dish again when it arrives, since recipes can vary between restaurants and even between chefs;
- being careful with sauces and curries, which can hide ingredients such as wheat flour, peanut flour or ground almonds, and asking about drinks, since allergens can appear in alcoholic drinks;
- avoiding buffets, where cross-contamination risk is likely to be high, unless served first; and
- leaving politely if staff do not seem to take the request seriously, or cannot confirm that the food is free of the allergens.
Anaphylaxis UK cites the Food Information for Consumers Regulations 2014, under which food businesses must be able to provide information about the 14 major allergens in catered food sold without packaging. Anaphylaxis UK also suggests dining at home for people who are not comfortable eating out.
Kissing and shared food
The leaflet says kissing can cause allergic reactions in people with food allergies. Reactions mostly happen if the partner has just eaten the food, though they can happen up to a few hours later. It advises asking a partner not to eat the allergen for several hours before a date and not to eat it during the date, and to ask what they have eaten that day before kissing. Sharing kitchen utensils, water bottles or drinks can also cause reactions.
It cites a 2006 study that found peanut in saliva immediately and an hour after eating peanut butter, but not several hours later after a peanut-free lunch, and advises waiting several hours and until the partner has eaten another meal without the allergen, although no fixed waiting time makes kissing safe for every allergy. It warns that chewing gum or brushing teeth straight after eating does not reduce the risk. Anaphylaxis UK gives a longer window, saying allergens can remain in saliva for anywhere from two to 24 hours and that even brushing may not remove them. The two sources therefore differ, and the safer course is to ask rather than guess.
If a reaction starts
The leaflet advises keeping emergency medicines on hand at all times, including two adrenaline auto-injectors if prescribed, even if there is no plan to eat, and teaching a partner how to use the injector and what the allergy action plan says. Anaphylaxis UK says that, if a reaction happens when eating out, the person should tell someone they are with straight away, stay where they are, follow their emergency care plan, and have someone dial 999 and alert staff.
The NHS describes anaphylaxis as a life-threatening allergic reaction that happens very quickly, with symptoms that include swelling of the throat or tongue, difficulty breathing, feeling faint, and blue, grey or pale skin, lips or tongue. Its steps are to use an adrenaline auto-injector if there is one, call 999 and say it may be anaphylaxis, lie down, raising the legs if wanted (or, if breathing is difficult, raising the shoulders or sitting up slowly), and not stand or walk even if feeling better. A second injector is used if there is no improvement after 5 minutes.
Intimacy and other triggers
The leaflet also mentions that intimacy can flare eczema or trigger asthma, that latex allergy means choosing polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms, that lubricants can contain scents, dyes or preservatives, and that pet dander, dust mites and bedding detergents can raise symptoms.
FAQs
Is brushing teeth enough before a kiss?
The NHS leaflet says brushing teeth or chewing gum straight after eating the allergen does not reduce the risk, and Anaphylaxis UK says allergens can persist in saliva for hours.
The bottom line
Dating with a food allergy goes best with early, simple honesty, a venue chosen or checked in advance, a clear plan for kissing and shared food, and emergency medicines and an action plan to hand. The Evelina leaflet and Anaphylaxis UK both advise asking a partner what they have eaten and waiting, though their time estimates differ and no fixed wait guarantees safety. If anaphylaxis is suspected, use an adrenaline auto-injector if available, call 999 and follow NHS emergency guidance.
Sources
- Allergies, dating and relationships, patient information leaflet, Evelina London (evelinalondon.nhs.uk)
- Eating Out with Allergies (anaphylaxis.org.uk)
- 10 tips to have an allergy-safe Valentine’s Day, 30 January 2025 (anaphylaxis.org.uk)
- Anaphylaxis (nhs.uk)