Early in an online match, one request appears again and again in scam warnings: can we talk somewhere else? The Metropolitan Police, Age UK, Get Safe Online and the US Federal Trade Commission (FTC) all mention it. This article summarises what each says. It is general safety information and not proof that anyone who asks to change platform is a scammer, since many genuine matches move to messaging apps. The UK sources cover UK readers, and the FTC is a US body, so its reporting route is noted separately.
What the sources say
The Metropolitan Police’s romance fraud page says that if someone met on a dating website, game or application, the fraudster may steer the person away from there. Instead, they may prefer to talk by email, text and phone. It adds that fraudsters often choose encrypted messaging applications, such as WhatsApp.
Age UK’s guidance on dating in later life lists warning signs to watch for. One is someone who wants to move the conversation onto a different platform too quickly. Others include avoiding video calls or meeting in person, messaging intensively and declaring love early, and asking for money.
Get Safe Online’s ten tips begin with the same idea: choose a reputable dating site or app, and do not be tempted away from its messaging service until confident that the date is who they say they are and completely trusted.
The FTC describes a typical scenario in similar terms: someone meets a person on a dating site or app, and soon that person wants to email, call or message off the platform. It says they claim to live far away, for work or because they are in the military, and then start asking for money.
Why the timing matters
The sources do not all explain the mechanism, and none gives a percentage of scams that involve a move. What they do consistently stress is the word “too quickly”: Age UK ties the risk to speed, and Get Safe Online to the point at which trust is actually established. A request that arrives alongside other warning signs, or before identity has been checked, is what the guidance highlights. The Metropolitan Police notes that fraudsters want the person to feel isolated, and other tactics on its list, such as asking for secrecy, work in the same direction.
What else tends to come with it
According to the Metropolitan Police, romance fraudsters typically:
- make conversation more personal to get information, while giving little that can be checked;
- send a photo that may be real, stolen or created using technology, which a reverse image search on Google or TinEye can test;
- give a reasonable-sounding excuse why they cannot meet in person;
- invent an urgent need for money, such as a medical operation, a debt or a time-critical situation, and may ask the person to invest or to buy gift cards;
- ask for the relationship to be kept secret, and may act hurt when doubts are raised;
- ask the person to receive or forward money or parcels, which the Met warns could mean unwittingly laundering money, a criminal offence.
The FTC list includes similar stories about medical expenses, plane tickets, visas and fees, and pressure to pay by gift card, wire transfer, money transfer app or cryptocurrency.
What to do instead of moving straight away
- Stay on the app until trust is earned. Get Safe Online advises this, and Age UK says the same in its later-life guidance.
- Test the person, not the profile. Get Safe Online suggests asking plenty of questions, searching the match’s name, photos or repeated phrases together with terms such as “dating scam” or “catfish”, and doing a reverse image search.
- Tell someone. The Met says to tell a friend or family member, since another perspective helps, and warns that fraudsters may try to make people feel guilty for wanting to tell anyone. Get Safe Online advises ending conversations with anyone who says not to mention them to friends or family.
- Never send money or personal information. The Met lists investing, transferring money on the person’s behalf, taking out a loan and sending gift cards, and the FTC says never to send money or gifts to someone not met in person.
Video calls are a practical way to test a match, covered in this site’s guide to video call verification, and the wider pattern is set out in how to spot a romance scammer.
If money or details have already gone
The Met says to call 159 to speak to a bank if fraud is suspected or money has been sent. It gives Victim Support’s 24/7 Supportline on 0808 168 9111, available whether or not the fraud was reported to the police, and Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111 for anonymous reports. Get Safe Online says to report romance fraud to the fraud reporting service and the dating site or app where the person was met, and to report any assault to the police. The FTC’s route is for US residents: report to ReportFraud.ftc.gov and notify the site where the scammer was met. See also recovering after a romance scam.
The bottom line
Police, Age UK, Get Safe Online and the FTC all flag a quick request to leave the dating app as a warning sign, especially when it comes with early declarations of love, excuses for not meeting, secrecy or money requests. Staying on the platform until identity is checked, testing photos and stories, talking to a friend and refusing any money request are the consistent responses. A request to move is not proof of a scam, and its timing is what the guidance treats as important.