Online dating often leads quickly to meeting in person, and for some people to sex. The NHS publishes plain information on condoms, testing and sexual health clinics that is relevant whenever someone has a new partner. This article summarises that NHS guidance. It is general information and not medical advice, and anyone with symptoms or concerns should see a sexual health clinic or a doctor. The pages cited are on the NHS website, which serves England, so service arrangements can vary elsewhere in the UK.
Why testing is part of dating safety
The NHS says sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are common and can be passed on during sex or through sexual contact. It stresses that many STIs have no symptoms, which means a person can have one without knowing and infect a partner, and that the only way to know for sure is to get tested. Among the reasons it lists for going to a sexual health clinic is having sex with new partners, so a change of partner is a natural point to consider a test.
Using condoms correctly
The NHS says that using a condom every time is the best way to protect you and your partner from HIV and other STIs, and that condoms can be used for vaginal, anal and oral sex. Its practical points include:
- use a new condom every time and follow the packet instructions;
- check the use-by date, since an expired condom may not be effective;
- check for a European CE mark or UKCA mark, which the NHS says means it has been tested to high safety standards;
- do not use more than one condom, which can make one or both split;
- do not use oil-based lubricant with latex condoms, and use water-based or silicone-based lubricant instead;
- put the condom on before any contact and keep it on until the end of sex.
The NHS says urgent help is available from a pharmacist, a sexual health clinic, NHS 111 or a GP if a condom splits or comes off, because emergency contraception or an STI test may be needed. It gives the effectiveness of condoms at preventing pregnancy as up to 98 per cent with perfect use and 82 per cent when not used correctly.
When to test, and the timing issue
The NHS says STIs can take up to 7 weeks after unprotected sex to show up on a test, and that without symptoms it is best to wait 7 weeks before being tested. It advises going to a sexual health clinic if a person thinks they may have an STI, a partner has symptoms, they are worried after sex without a condom or dental dam, or they are having sex with new partners. Until a check-up or test has been done, the NHS says to avoid sex, including oral sex, without a condom or dental dam.
What a sexual health clinic is like
The NHS describes getting tested and treated for STIs as straightforward and confidential, and says most infections can be cured. Anyone can go regardless of gender, age or whether they have symptoms. Further points include:
- No referral needed. A GP referral or appointment is not usually required, although contacting the clinic first is advisable and some offer drop-in sessions.
- Privacy. A person does not have to give their real name. The GP is not told about the visit without permission, and results can usually be delivered by phone, text or an unmarked letter.
- Tests. Depending on circumstances they can include a urine sample, a blood sample or swabs. Some clinics offer home testing kits for some STIs.
- Choice of clinician and chaperone. People can ask to see a female or male doctor or nurse, though this may mean a wait, and can ask for a chaperone.
- Free services. Contraception services are free and confidential on the NHS, and condoms are free from sexual health clinics.
If a test is positive
The NHS says that many STIs are treated with antibiotics and that a course should always be finished. Sex, including oral sex, should be avoided until the person and their partner or partners have finished treatment. Current and recent partners should be told so they can be tested, and if a person does not want to do this, the clinic can usually do it without naming them, a process the NHS calls partner notification.
Talking about it with a match
The guidance above does not describe how to raise the subject, but it does make clear that condoms and testing are ordinary, confidential and free to access. Consent is a separate subject, covered in a related guide on setting boundaries and communicating consent safely, and nothing in sexual health advice replaces the right to say no or to stop at any point.
Frequently asked questions
Do I need an appointment?
Not usually, according to the NHS, but it is a good idea to contact the clinic first to check.
Will my GP find out?
The NHS says no information about a clinic visit is shared with the GP or anyone else outside the clinic unless the patient asks.
Does having had an STI once make me immune?
No. The NHS says the same infection can be caught again.
The bottom line
NHS guidance treats condoms, testing and clinic visits as routine parts of sexual health. Condoms should be new, in date and CE or UKCA marked. Testing is worth considering with any new partner, with the timing rule of up to 7 weeks after unprotected sex for a reliable result, and clinics offer free, confidential care without the need to give a real name. Anyone with symptoms or a concern should contact a sexual health clinic or a GP.