Check a match

I feel unsafe because of someone I met online: what to do now

Do this now

  • Move to a safer place and contact local emergency services if anyone may be in immediate danger.
  • Do not confront, bait or threaten the person if doing so could increase risk.

If this situation is unfolding now, the goal is not to prove exactly who is responsible. The immediate priorities for this guide are safety, stopping further loss, securing access and using official reporting routes. Take the steps that apply and skip anything that would increase danger.

The key point

Feeling unsafe is enough reason to change or end a dating plan. Move toward a staffed or trusted place, preserve independent transport and phone access, and contact emergency services when danger may be immediate. The person does not need to confront the match or prove why the situation feels unsafe before leaving.

Warning signs to notice

  • Signal 1: The person avoids a clear answer to this question: “What is happening now, where is the person, and does the contact know their location?”
  • Signal 2: The person resists or tries to control the independent check: Verify immediate safety through a trusted person, venue staff, police or emergency service rather than confronting the contact.
  • Signal 3: A later development involving contact through replacement accounts or an offline approach is used to push the interaction forward without a fresh safety decision.

A checklist cannot certify that a person, account, offer or website is safe. For this guide, the combination of signals and the potential harm matters more than a score.

Safer next steps

  1. Verify immediate safety through a trusted person, venue staff, police or emergency service rather than confronting the contact.
  2. Record profile, threats, location references and incident timeline only when safe, limiting collection to what is relevant and safe.
  3. Use the applicable parts of this reporting route: emergency or police services, the dating platform and stalking, sexual-violence or fraud support as applicable.
  4. Treat contact through replacement accounts or an offline approach as a new development and reassess before paying, sharing, meeting or continuing contact.

Important: Do not use contact details supplied by the suspected sender when checking i feel unsafe because of someone I met online: what to do now, and do not pay to unlock or correct the first incident.

Questions that create a useful pause

  • What is happening now, where is the person, and does the contact know their location?
  • What check can test the claim without using supplied contact details? Verify immediate safety through a trusted person, venue staff, police or emergency service rather than confronting the contact.
  • Which action should remain paused if this follow-up occurs: contact through replacement accounts or an offline approach?

Evidence to preserve—only when safe

  • Record profile, threats, location references and incident timeline only when safe
  • Record the outcome of this check: Verify immediate safety through a trusted person, venue staff, police or emergency service rather than confronting the contact
  • Keep any confirmation or case reference from the organisations in this route: emergency or police services, the dating platform and stalking, sexual-violence or fraud support as applicable

Do not delay leaving, blocking, account protection or emergency help merely to collect evidence.

Where to report

  • Use the relevant parts of this reporting and support route: emergency or police services, the dating platform and stalking, sexual-violence or fraud support as applicable
  • Provide the relevant part of this record: profile, threats, location references and incident timeline only when safe
  • Report any later approach involving contact through replacement accounts or an offline approach as connected follow-up

Use independently found official contact details. Never rely on a number or link supplied by the suspected offender.

Supporting another person

Help the person examine this question: What is happening now, where is the person, and does the contact know their location? Work with them to verify immediate safety through a trusted person, venue staff, police or emergency service rather than confronting the contact. Choose one protective action without blame or promises about the outcome.

What may happen next

Expect contact through replacement accounts or an offline approach. If that happens, repeat the check through a separately found official route. Do not pay or disclose information to correct the first incident.

Frequently asked questions

Which claim needs an independent check?

What is happening now, where is the person, and does the contact know their location? Complete this check: Verify immediate safety through a trusted person, venue staff, police or emergency service rather than confronting the contact. Do not treat the incoming message, document, voice or account as proof.

What should be included when asking for help?

Provide profile, threats, location references and incident timeline only when safe through the relevant parts of this route: emergency or police services, the dating platform and stalking, sexual-violence or fraud support as applicable. Limit the record to what is relevant and safe to share.

What kind of second approach should be treated as connected?

Treat contact through replacement accounts or an offline approach as a possible continuation. Verify it separately and refuse any new payment, access or secrecy request.

Sources

This guide provides general safety information, not legal, medical or financial advice. Emergency, reporting and provider procedures can change.